Warriors 101 – Suns 107
Monika and I go waaaaaay back… over a decade.
I used to sit in front of her of our freshman science class and we hit it off. I can’t remember what it was that triggered our friendship, because I’ve sat around enough people in my life during my academic career and very few made the type of impression Monika did on me.
My first real memory with Monika is about shoe cleaner. She was a star soccer player with dirty kicks and I was a basketball player with clean ones. She asked me how I kept my sneakers so clean, I offered to bring in some cleaner… I did, and the rest is history. It was this small gesture that was the spark that gave me a friend for life.
And like her sport of choice in high school, she picked tonight’s game versus the Suns not for basketball but for soccer. Steve Nash is a huge soccer fan and former star and Monika’s life is firmly rooted in soccer and Santa Clara University, where Nash played in college. The connection may not be obvious from the outside, but she’s been crushing on the former MVP for a while now.
Monika was working in Redwood City today so we agreed to meet at Oracle.
Since I didn’t have anyone waiting on me at the office or in the city, the natural flow of work had me dragging behind and headed out of the office a little late.
The Commute
Monika texted me as I was walking down my office stairs saying she was already on the road and halfway between Redwood City and Oracle.
The only reason why I mention this is because in the time it took me to walk to BART, head to the arena and get to the Team Store, it was less time than it took for Monika to drive the rest of the way.
BART is still the best way to get to the game.
It was a rainy night. It wasn’t raining hard, but it was enough to warrant an umbrella.
Because Monika was going to meet me there, tonight’s commute was solo.
It was actually kind of nice making the trek to Oracle by myself. I’m an independent and hyper introspective person by nature so I do appreciate the moments I get to myself. However it did also put certain things in to perspective in the sense that I also really appreciate having company and someone to chat with.
Tonight, I really like that commute being mine. I was lost in thought the whole ride on BART and as I got off and was half way across the land bridge to get to Oracle, I got a phone call from my dad.
One of my uncles in Vietnam passed away.
With a single answer of the phone, I got an answer as to why I was in one of my heightened introspective moods. I believe we’re more connected to the world, friends and family than we think.
I’ve never met my uncle that passed away, and I’m sure it’s way harder to lose someone that you have actual memories with, but losing family that I’ve never had the opportunity to even create memories with is still very hard for me.
Unfortunately, I don’t have a lot of family in the States. I don’t know anything else so it’s normal to me. But for my mom and my dad, they’ve only been back to Vietnam twice in the past 40 years, so anytime something like this happens, it’s especially difficult for them.
My dad was frustrated. He was sad. He was upset. He sounded guilty. He called me because he had no one else to call, as I hope he would either way, because I’m his son and friend.
We had a quick chat and wished me a good time at tonights game.
Immediately I started to question my priorities. Season tickets are NOT CHEAP.
I immediately thought to myself, “Why didn’t I spend this money on a trip to Vietnam with my pops.”
My dad was clearly questioning his mortality due to his brother’s death and he’s always been in my ear about taking me back to Vietnam before he passes away as well.
Perhaps it was my guilt I was hearing in my head; not my dad’s.
With Leigh’s father passing away earlier this week and now my uncle, it’s been pretty rough.
After I shook the thoughts of remorse, I can’t deny how much richer my life is and has been with these season tickets and my Golden Season project.
What Golden Season and season tickets to the Warriors have allowed me to do is in a lot of ways is to fight against the flightiness of time. As fleeting it is with life, making the most of my time with people I’ve been taking to games and being a part of something I love and am passionate about is in a way, my way to reclaim my life and make the most of it.
Doing it through going to basketball games may sound superficial to most people, but if you see what I see, and I hope you will over the course of this blog, then you’d get it.
What I see is a team that gives me and other people something to cheer for. Something to complain about. I see men that were once boys that dreamt about wearing an NBA uniform their entire lives. I see hard work and determination accumulated over a lifetime for each and every single one of them, and they are sharing that with US. THAT is special and not talked about enough.
So given everything that had gone down this week, I was particularly happy that tonight’s game was with Monika.
She’s one of my dearest friends and although we may not hang out much over the history of our friendship, I’d trust her with anything.
I’ve fully resigned myself to our friendship because I know it would never steer me the wrong way and that it’s genuine.
PLUS she’s like me, a lifelong Warriors fan… I can trust in that right? Because THAT is loyalty.
The Game
Monika finally parked and met me in front of the Team Store.
It was great to see her smiling face in the midst of turmoil and be able to hug it out. I didn’t really tell her what was going on, but I didn’t need to. She always gives great hugs.
Monika had her heart set on buying a hat so we hopped inside the team store.
We cruised the store and she quickly found a hat. She also locked eyes on the clean blue Adidas track jacket that most people have been drawn to.
As we were standing in line so she could buy the hat we noticed that the item of the game was the Warrior Girls swimsuit calendar. She casually mentioned that her cousin was a former Warrior Girl and calendar cover model. I later made her back up the claim by showing me photos later… yup, it’s true.. I am now dying for an interview for the blog 
.
We headed up to the concourse level entrance and as we were walking in they were handing out free Cache Creek sponsored t-shirts.
Monika was pretty excited.
As soon as we got to their seats Monika started to get creative with the free T that was handed out to us.
She was dressed up from work wearing a dress with a belt thing going on so she tried to turn the free shirt into the dress and cap off some leggy proportions with the belt. The belt didn’t quite work out but everything else did.
Either way, she looks great in Warriors Royal Blue and California Golden Yellow.
The game got underway and so did we.
For as much as I value Monika and I’s relationship, we’ve never really had a heart to heart, one on one; tonight we did.
There were two topics of conversation that really stood out for me.
1. Both our fathers are immigrants
2. Getting older and being ready for substantive relationships
Lets first start off with our pops. Hearing about Monika’s dad is really inspiring. I’ve known her mom forever but I don’t think I’ve ever met her dad. But from what I know from Monika he’s an incredible father and extremely caring.
Monika’s dad, like mine, is an immigrant who really had to hustle to make things happen. We connected over that and because our parents had to work extra hard, that also meant they were also working a lot.
I immediately assumed that because Monika’s dad had to work hard and often, he might not have been around much as she was growing up, but it wasn’t the case.
Monika went on to tell me that even though her dad was starting and eventually running an expanding a successful business, he always made it a point to come to all of her soccer matches growing up and throughout high school. And even if he wasn’t out in the crowd he was at the very least able to pick her up and be there for her afterward.
When I asked her how it was possible, because I even have a hard time on occasion getting out of the office to go to game, the answer was pretty simple. He just made it a priority. He’d go in a little earlier and work as hard as he could knowing he had more important things to tend to. Because at the end of the day, it’s just work. No matter how much we care about it, it’s work and our loved ones are our loved ones.
I personally know it’s easier said than done and it may or may not be able to happen ALL of the time, but nothing is stopping us from doing the best that we can.
Because in the end, life is all about flexibility… and it gets way to hard when you can’t roll with the punches… it’s a lot like basketball.
Too many times there have been players or teams that get frustrated with poor calls, injuries to key players and a vast array of other issues that they face while trying to win a championship, but what’s most important is how the players, coaches and organization deals with it all that matters.
It may be tough to be a Warriors fan, even more so now than ever because we’re on a losing streak that we’re not too unfamiliar with, but if it’s one thing that our Warriors are good at is rolling with the punches.
The heart to heart with Monika continued and I moved on to ask her if she was seeing anyone.
I’ve never known Monika to struggle with guys, as she never has and isn’t now. But what I am saying and heard from her tonight is that ‘she’s’ ready for something a little more solid… something with a little more substance… we all get there at some point.
It’s not like Monika hasn’t put herself out there and made herself vulnerable in the past, but finding some one serious hasn’t been on her radar for the past few years, at least from what our past conversations have hinted.
However, with so many people in our lives moving in with their boyfriends/girlfriends, getting married, having kids, etc, it’s a reality that’s hard to avoid. Because at some point I think the vast majority of us (and it happens all at different times) will be ready for all of that.
We can try to deny and push it back for as long as we can, but at the end of the day we crave a connection that goes far beyond the physical and even the plutonic.
We grow not ‘up’, but wiser, in realizing that we all need a little more than the casual dating situation an/or random hookups to make our lives richer.
And this extends with other relationships else as well. We talked about what this all means and how even keeping more and investing in the most meaningful friendships is a key component of it all… a richer life that is.
It’s less about being friends with everyones, not even the president is, and it’s more about making sure you put in the energy of those that matter.
Monika and I (and usually with Michelle) have made it a point over the past few years to reinvest in each other even though we may not all hang out all the time. Michelle and Monika are best friends so they do see each other pretty regularly, and for whatever reason they choose to have bimonthly dinners with me, and it has become a personal San Francisco tradition I look forward to.
Because it allows me to do what I just talked about. Even for a few short hours, we can catch up and see each other face to face. We refuse to let Facebook replace our time spent together and we understand that sharing a meal is an extremely powerful thing.
In many ways, the Warrior games is just like sharing a meal (and you kind of do if you count nachos and chicken strips). It’s another reason for me to see and hang out with Monika; where we can steal a few hours and enjoy a game together.
Although she was there primarily for Nash, Monika is a Warriors fan.
Her and her brother already have plans on going to a game and after we ‘Checked-In’ using Facebook Places, both her brother and sister immediately ‘like’/commented on her being at the game.
She’s also come to a number of games because her cousin, as I mentioned before, was a Warrior Girl. It was a significant part of her cousin, Jessica’s life, and so in turn it was a significant part of her and her family’s life.
From the chat about our dads and even Monika’s own personal perspective I learned a lot about dedication and flexibility today.
I even took the same lessons away from stories of her cousin who now is trying to make it in LA. Her cousin was a Warrior girl for a couple years before moving to LA where right before the start of this season made the final rounds of the Laker Girl auditions. But with both the Warrior and Laker Girls call backs the same day, she had to make a decision.
Although she’s a Bay Area girl and Warrior fan, the Lakers were a better opportunity considering her future plans and current location. And as much as I hate the Lakers, I can’t hate on her decision. She did what was best for her as hard as its sometimes that the only thing we can do and should do, do what’s best for us.
Monika recently also had to make a similar decision when she switched jobs. As much as she loved the people she worked with, she had to make the best decision for her. It’s never easy, but if you’re not happy and you know the people/situation around you is not giving you the same effort you show them, then why sacrifice your happiness for them?
So lets say a final goodbye Don Nelson, goodbye Chris Cohen, goodbye weird comic book ‘Thunder’ logo.
And lets again welcome the new owners that are also fans and say hello new logo that actually gives a nod to the area and what connects us in the bay. They won’t be the answers to the problems that our Warriors face, but its still a great start.
New ownership and the new look are nothing ‘new’ to write about, but the prospects still excite me.
The organization is injected with the spirit of rebuilding and commitment that can be found in my and Monika’s dads. We’re ready for a more meaningful relationship with fans (each other), the owners and the organization. We have chosen to invest our passion, loyalty, and time into the Warriors, and we expect and demand not to be let down again.
And even though we lost tonight and still sit at a losing record, things are changing… things feel good… and I’ve started believing again.
And after tonight.. a reintroduction with an old friend, I know Monika will reignite her belief in the Warriors as well.
I suspect she’ll be back for that second date with our boys in blue soon… how do I know? She did a little bit of Christmas shopping at the Team Store on our way out…
- Nam
More photos from tonight:
